Be Nice… Until It’s Time Not To Be

After owning Othello's Italian Restaurant for nearly 30 years, I’ve heard one phrase repeated more than almost any other in business:

“The customer is always right.”

That philosophy has guided restaurants and businesses for generations. And in today’s social media environment, the pressure to keep every customer happy is even greater. People post everything online now. If there’s even a minor hiccup, it can end up on Facebook, Yelp, Google, or TikTok within minutes.

For business owners, an online reputation often becomes the public face of the company.

Unfortunately, there are also people I’ll simply call “bad actors” — customers who complain, exaggerate, or threaten negative online reviews in hopes of getting discounts, free meals, or special treatment.

The restaurant industry has been trained to immediately comp meals whenever there is a problem. Management seminars teach us to “be nice,” avoid conflict, and keep customers happy at all costs.

But somewhere along the way, that mindset — combined with the fear of social media backlash — has created a difficult position for many restaurants.

It reminds me of the old movie "Road House" starring Patrick Swayze. In the movie, Swayze plays the head bouncer at a rough honky-tonk bar. He tells his staff:

“Be nice.”

No matter the situation, his advice is always the same.

One of the bouncers eventually asks, “How will we know when it’s time not to be nice?”

Swayze replies, “I’ll tell you.”

With so many bad actors today — and more appearing every year — I think it’s time for businesses to recognize when that moment arrives. And this isn’t just a restaurant problem. Every industry deals with customers who try to manipulate businesses through online threats and public complaints.

At Othello’s, we once had a couple come in and order our homemade lasagna. They complained about it, so we comped the meal. The next week, they returned and ordered the lasagna again.

And again, they complained. The following week — and I truly can’t make this up — they came back one more time. This time, I refused to seat them and asked why they keep coming back if they did not like our food. They immediately threatened to tell everyone on Facebook how rude I was. I calmly told them that if they posted false statements online, I would defend my business legally. I never heard from them again.

As my friend, Don likes to say, “They folded like a cheap tent.”

The unfortunate part is that while I may have stopped them from taking advantage of my restaurant, they probably just moved on to try the same thing somewhere else.

So my advice to business owners and managers is simple:

Always be nice.

Until it’s time not to be.